Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dear Brandon,

Thank you for your request for feedback on your application to LSE, dated 23 February 2008. The Admissions Tutor acknowledged that your application was of a high standard. However, after careful consideration, we are not able to offer you a place as stronger applications have been received for the LLB Law course.
Specifically, your personal statement, whilst good, was felt to be less appropriate for this course compared to successful applicants.

We realise that this may be disappointing news. However, our Admissions Tutors are forced to make many difficult decisions as we receive in the region of 20,000 applications for 1,200 places each year. The majority of these are received by the end of November, therefore given the limited number of places available, the Admissions Tutor aims to make a decision as early as possible to avoid students having to wait longer than necessary for a decision.

I am sorry we have had to disappoint you in your application to the School and wish you every success in your future studies elsewhere.

fuck.

10:01 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have much more
I can feel your heart and I simpathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye

2:52 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'm sorry.

I can't reciprocate nor can I give you what you want. I did try. And I'm sorry it had to come at a time when you're feeling so down. But I can't drag this anymore. It isn't fair to you.

After today, I hope you find someone who can make you happy and give you what you wanted from me. You deserve better and I finally see sense in that.

11:17 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Till today, I still don't know why you went away. But now it seems like you're getting along fine already. I was forgotten so quickly, just like that. Why didn't you even tell me..that you moved on, that you lied, that you were playing me all along? Why did I have to find out myself?
I gave you the world.. my world..but you gave me hell. My soul's a tormented one, wrecked and marooned on a lonesome island, but it tries ever so hard to swim back to where it was once from, to try and move on..but i can't help but be wary and i can't help but restrain my feelings.. and it's all your fucking fault.

4:19 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Honestly, I don't wanna be wounded all over again. Ever since that faithful day, the protracted recuperation has been ongoing, and as much as I don't seem like a give a shit anymore, deep down inside I'm really scared of deja vu. I don't wanna invest feelings into someone only to go into free fall before landing hard on the ground all over again. It sucks. I've changed. My perspectives and beliefs have changed, and i guess somehow along the way I turned on some sort of defense mechanism that averts me from liking someone too much. Maybe someday, just someday, someone will change all that.

By the way, I can't stop listening to Cai Hong. It has a special emotional attachment.

5:40 AM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

about

Brandon T.

from Tao Nan, to Dunman High, to Temasek JC.
What's next? Cambridge the Lexus or NUS the Olive tree?
I love soccer, and life gets pretty interesting when you worship 11 men and love 1 woman.
And I'm still waiting..for you.

If you be my star I'll be your sky you can hide underneath me and come out at night I'll turn jet black and live in your shadows while you show off your light I live to let you shine

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