you cant be that far away from me ; if we're looking on the same side of the moon

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I had dinner with my family at Chijmes today and we saw this Red Cayman S that my dad liked very much. I shall get him one when I have all the money in the world one day, then I'll get myself my 911 Carrera 4S Cabriolet. Seriously, What's the best way to get 10million dollars? I wonder.

tear my heart open, stomp on it, rip at it, kick it, mutilate it, lacerate it, crush it then shove it right back inside.

8:02 AM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

"NUS to increase their intake of law students from 220 to 250.."
Sounds like marvellous news, though not necessarily very timely. If only they had implemented this last year, then I probably would have stood a better chance at cementing a place for 2008 admission. Now I can only apply again next year which by then, I would have been so isolated from the world because of the army that I'd probably screw the interviews up. Meanwhile, SMU's going to launch their law degree programme come 2007 to contribute to the dwindling supply of young lawyers, and my dad just spoke to me again the other day about the professor that wanted to give me a place in SMU which would offer me Law along with any other discipline that I wanted. Something, nonetheless, is just so unappealling about SMU. Maybe I'm just a very brand conscious person, or maybe I just don't like the idea of having to travel everyday to school from the East, since SMU ain't got no hostels. Anyway, next year, we'll see.

the birthday present that never came.
Embrace all the pain till it's gone.
But you remain my power, my pleasure, my pain.

12:35 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Friday, August 18, 2006

omg! My new base S1 is seriously smokin'! And I'm not even saying this relative to other airforce girls. She's hot per se, period! omg. If this is how the SAF "cares for soldiers", they sure got it spot on! She's such motivation. lol.

4:36 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

How foolish of me to wait. To wait and think that u might, just might sms or call me or smth, or at least reply, albeit grossly overdued. But yeah. It was never gonna happen. I knew, but I was just dumb.
I need to know the best way to disect emotions from my mortal shell.

11:25 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

I wanna play soccer...BADLY!
It's my only form of escapism from all the crap I'm going through. It's my little utopian heaven, where no one else exists except me, where I can forget about everything that's going on, albeit temporarily.
Heal ankle, heal!!

10:37 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Monday, August 14, 2006

recieved an uber out-of-the-blue phone call while I was in camp today from some photoshoot cum make-over firm. They called me telling me that I've been selected for a free makeover completed with a photoshoot and all I had to do was to take home my photos and advertised for them. wow..weird. I don't recall giving my number to anyone lately. They told me to come down to some place in Circus Rd tomorrow at 2pm..unfortunately I had to give it a miss since I'd be stuck in camp, though they said they'll call to fix another time. ah well. no luck with freebies.

could you at least pretend that you care about how I feel? you're burning a hole in me.

i'm so damn sleepy..or rather, jaded would be more apt. I tossed around in bed all night in a futile attempt to force myself to sleep cos my mind just kept thinking and thinking and thinking. But that's all that I can do right now. Think. Dream. Hope. That's about it. I should start thinkin' a lil less and start doin' a lil less too.
My life's a wreck and in a complete mess now. I'm becoming anti-social and I'm becoming cantankerous, sometimes vituperative. Everyone says that I need to snap out of this, but if I could, I would.
But as long as I find my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, everything is worth it.
If I find cornflakes, I'll be so torn.
But I'll still love you in the morning..forever and ever babe.

8:21 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

I got on the 40 bus to Bedok today and unwittingly sat infront of a complete psycho. The dude in the seat behind me was nucking futs and his mouth was running amok, shouting stuff like "YOU DIE! .... YOU MATI..!". A truely "wtf" moment. And he was talking to himself the whole time, mumbling some undecipherable random ramblings at a pace so rapid that Eminem would have been ashamed of himself. gee that guy should go carve a career in rap or smth, he'd be the new kid on the block. So throught my circa 5 minutes ordeal, I was simply just trying to play it cool and act like I wasn't affected at all, but the truth is I was kinda worried that he'd stab me from behind or something. Wtf is with bus and crazy people? This reminded me of the last time Aaron met a psycho on the bus in what was a truely "LOL" moment. That sick bastard was rubbing his balls in front of Aaron while smiling sinisterly at him. HAHAHA. It never fails to make me LOL. freaking hilarious.

anyway, EPL's starting next week. Today's curtain raiser between Liverpool and Chelsea's the start of Arsenal's quadruple season.
HAIL THE NEW RESIDENTS OF THE EMIRATES STADIUM!

I guess you went to watch Click without me after all.

10:57 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

you don't even apologise when u take a long time to reply anymore.
things won't ever be the same.

a million thoughts' been running thru my mind and i just wanna lay like this forever.
this es la forma peor de tortura.

10:15 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

i like sleeping my time away.
at least i don't think about u that way.
at least not consciously.
time's passing so slow these days.

2:34 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

If you were to change your mind, soba ni ite hoshii yo tonight.
tsuyogaru koto ni tsukareta no
osana sugita no everytime I think about you baby..
Ima nara ieru I'll wait for you..
it's so hard to even say i'm thinkin about you.
tatoeba dare ka no tame ja naku anata no tame ni utaitai kono uta wo.
Owara nai story tsuduku kono kagayaki ni..
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni.

the days are getting harder to pass.

12:07 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Monday, August 07, 2006

why am i feeling so bad?

and i think my parents are having problems.

7:48 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

alright. i officially dislike people from China.
They are obnoxious, loud-mouthed and uncouth, but what's worst is the way they talk..so so so so garbled. and their bloody accent is so thick that you fackin "har?" like half the time. And when you say something to them, they can't understand for nuts either, so there's this fundamental communication problem. I HATE THEIR ACCENT. and i simply hate talkin to them. Man, I tried my best, but we simply don't clique. Which is why yesterday's the last time that I'm gonna help my friend play for his team in the amatuer league competition. Nevermind the fact that they totally suck at football and 80% of the time the ball was in our half, but they just simply get on my nerves, right down from the way they think they're so fackin good to the way they wear colourful, calf-length socks to play soccer. Ouch. how charming. My friend's gonna ask me again the next time they play but sorry pal, I ain't stifling my talents for a team that's not even mediocre. Well if you decide to take up the Tampines Rovers offer then i'll go with you. At least I'd be playing with a REAL team there, not some half-baked mofos.

Yesterday was a particular lousy day and it was summed up when I freakin twisted my ankle. And it's a pretty bad injury. I can't freakin walk without hobbling at the moment and I didn't go to work today. Physical and emotional trauma all at one go, how fun. But i think I aggrevated the injury cos i didnt stop playin when i twisted my ankle. I was on song and didnt wanna stop. But that's just me, I don't like unfinished business. And when i'm on the ball, all the pain is forgotten for that moment.. it's called adrenaline... no, it's called passion.

2:09 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

playing soccer alone at night's probably the ultimate form of anger management. feels good just running around with the ball at your feet, hitting it so hard as though all the frustrations'd be gone flying with the ball. And it makes u feel so much better when you can do magic with the ball using your feet.

such confidence.such joy.

ironic how low i was feeling preceding my mini venting session. i've been mulling over a pretty big dilemma lately, not a nice conundrum to have. and it's funny how i only face such a problem after almost 4 years.
all along, it was merely platonic.
maybe slightly more.
but never there.
drifting in and out of my life all these while.. i never saw this coming.
when away, it felt pretty damn distant. always wanted to bridge up though.
when near, it felt pretty damn nice for it's like everything was fated. we just connected so well.
now you're near again, and it's gotten a step to far i fear, on my part that is. i'm even starting to get upset when things are not reciprocated, when you don't reply and even when you don't say hi. it was never like that. and it was never supposed to be like that. I wouldn't exchange anything in the world for this rekindled connection though, it took quite awhile to get it back.
I don't know what you're thinking, but it's probably not what i wanna hear.
now the dilemma is, i don't know what i want. you're almost perfecto. and someone like me should keep my feet on the floor. mona lisa was only meant for the hands of Leonardo da Vinci, and eyes of the ordinary.
my eyes on you, that'd be as far as it gets.
someone kill my butterflies.i need to sort myself out.

8:00 PM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Happy 17th Birthday Jing.. :)

9:23 AM - You left Gucci for Giordano, darling.